79% of all the reported suicides in America Are men*

When was your moment?

Mine was when I called my Dad from the Frankfurt airport on my way to South Korea. It was 3:30 a.m. back home, and my Dad was awake by some miracle. Frankfurt was the layover on my way to Seoul, Korea, for an internship of a lifetime. My anxiety about the trip was growing in me for weeks before I left. That was "normal" for me. I always felt anxious about any of my dozens of international trips. And I was always able to push through and get to my destination. 

But this was different. I was having wave after wave of panic attacks in the middle of an International terminal - thousands of miles away from home. The world was closing on me in scary ways I'd never experienced before. I literally felt like I was going to die. I couldn't continue. So I called;  "It's OK," my Dad said. "Let's just get you home." 

Though Frankfurt felt like it came out of nowhere, looking back, I could see it coming. The deep feelings of depression & anxiety were there for years leading up to my "moment." Still, I dealt with it all alone. I was suffering in silence. Many nights in the college dorm, where I could not leave my room because I was crippled with anxiety, or even in high school, where I would sit and stare at the ceiling for hours wondering, "Am I the only one who feels these waves of loneliness"? But it wasn't until the Frankfurt airport moment that I started to share my problems with loved ones and seek professional help. I finally got on a path to feel like my "real self."  

Unfortunately, my story is not anything uncommon in this world. Mental Health America reports that 6 million men suffer from depression, 3.2 million men have some sort of panic disorder, and mental health ends up costing Americans 193.2 billion dollars in potential earnings each year*.

It's still a battle. That's the nature of mental illness. However, I do not feel alone in the fight anymore. Either through connecting with other men struggling to encourage one another, reading testimonials of people taking steps to better their mental health, getting introduced to science-backed resources, or wearing clothing that supports the cause, SiS exists to shine a light for men who suffer in silence. You are not alone. You no longer have to suffer in silence; it can start here.

*All references found in resource page